Monday, 15 April 2013

Spring Is Here!

There's this movie, Limitless, with Bradley Cooper. The premise is that there's this pill that makes you smarter--not just book-smarts, either, but smarter in all areas of your life--in your relationships, in your work, in everything, you become a genius. In the movie, Bradley Cooper's character takes the pill and sits down to finish in a week a book he'd been working on for years, seduces his arch-nemesis with his amazing people skills, and gets rich through some kind of stock-market wizardry. There's some nonsense with organized crime and murder, but the point--the POINT--is that there could be this amazing pill that transforms you into the person you always wanted to be--the person you've kept trying and failing to be this whole time.

Say what you will about the movie itself--that is a compelling concept.

I have been in a bit of a #dark place lately. Mainly, it has to do with the editing process. I'm working hard to get my first novel into shape. In the past three months since Christmas, I felt like I had been trying to write novels all my life and felt so frustrated I wasn't better, stronger, smarter, and more-- more everything by now. I just kept feeling like I was hurling myself against the limits of my own talent and coming off bruised and battered.

I've never been that interested in drugs. But I would totally get addicted to the Limitless pill. I would move mountains, cut off limbs, sell my soul, whatever is required, to get my hands on some. I would even take a few awesome years of genius followed by decline. I would do it. Just so I could stop disappointing myself, at least for a while.

But spring is here--or at least it's starting, slowly, to feel like it. And I've been starting to come out of my dark place. At Genn's behest, I wrote an outline of my book as it stands now--and feel a renewed sense of purpose. I'm starting to see where the weak points are and specific things I can fix. And things are starting to look possible again. Even big, audacious goals. 

So welcome, Spring. I hope with you here, things will get better. I feel life improving already.

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