Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4 Recap

I spent a lovely weekend in Austin for the Old Settler’s Music Festival—and thus I’m late with my recap of Season 3, Episode 4 of Game of Thrones. But better late than never, right?

[WARNING: Tharr be spoilers below. So if you haven’t watched Season 3, Episode 4, take a step back.]

A lot happens in this episode, so this will be a bit long. 

We start off with an image of Jaime Lannister’s severed hand hanging around his own neck. Jaime has clearly lost the will to live—or even stay on his horse. He falls off into the mud, where his captors give him horse pee to drink and then give him an ass-kicking. Later, Brienne prods him to eat—to live, to take revenge. And she has a great response ready when he says he wants to die. “You have a taste,” she says, “One taste of the real world, where people have important things taken from them, and you whine and cry and quit.” Say what you will about Brienne, that woman is a real friend. She actually gets Jamie to eat.

Meanwhile, Tyrion comes to Varys looking for proof that Cersei had tried to have him killed at the Battle of King’s Landing. Varys has no proof—but he does offer up his origin story. I found myself thinking what the world would be like if we all had origin monologues like this one and launched into them apropos of nothing periodically, like in this scene. Long story short, Varys was castrated by a magician, and he now keeps that magician tied up in a crate. That’s not much help for Tyrion, though.

Up north of the Wall, Sam tries to offer Gilly some kindness. Gilly brushes it off. “I don’t want your stupid thimble,” she says, giving him back a gift he’d given her earlier. “I want to save my baby’s life. Can you do that? Can you? I don’t have time for you.” I loved this moment—she is basically demanding Sam put his actions where his words are, and actually do something to help her baby rather than offering useless platitudes.

Meanwhile, Margaery Tyrell continues to grow her influence over Joffrey. Her work with the orphanages, while building goodwill for Joffrey, also had the potential to make him feel threatened—but Margaery shrewdly shows him to the people and lets him think they adore him.

Cersei can see her hold on Joffrey slipping away—and she’s failing at gaining any influence over her father. “Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserves your confidence and your trust? Not your sons, not Jamie or Tyrion but me?” She demands. “I don’t trust you because you’re not as smart as you think you are,” Tywin shoots back, after handily recasting her problem with the Tyrells as her own inability to control her son. Like Tyrion, Cersei is handicapped from birth—her by her gender, his by his height.  

And then there’s Olenna Tyrell—Margaery’s grandmother. I love how she doesn’t give a shit. Her monologue about the insipidness of her family’s seal is just pure genius. She’s right. Roses are boring. When Varys offers her a few flirtatious pleasantries, she coquettishly asks him if he’s trying to seduce her. “Oh no, pleeease, seduce away. It's been soooo long,” she simpers. “Although I rather think it’s all for naught—what happens when the nonexistent bumps up against the decrepit? A question for the philosophers.” HA! I’ve now found my role model for who I want to become as an old lady.

Varys and Olenna proceed to entertainingly plot Sansa Stark’s future. Apparently she’s the key to the North if her brother fails—making her a very valuable pawn. Later, Margaery deftly befriends Sansa and plants the idea of marrying Loras in her head. Sansa seriously needs to get it together. Like with Sam in the last episode, I keep holding my breath and hoping she’ll start becoming a player—so far it hasn’t happened.

The Hound is being held by Beric Dondarrion for murder—Arya Stark pipes up about him killing her friend the butcher’s boy. The Merry Gentlemen decide to subject the Hound to a trial by combat—which seems like a really bad idea, considering what a badass swordsman he is (and also the fact that he looms over everyone in the cave where they’ve decided to do this for some reason).

And then we get to the scene you’ve all been waiting for. YES, Daenerys Targaryen—who’s been faking the whole time about 1). planning to actually sell one of her beloved dragon-children (come on; you didn't really think she'd do that, did you??) and 2). needing a translator. She passes off her dragon—I think the biggest one is Drogon?—to the slaveowner, then commands her new slave army to slaughter everyone in sight (except civilians) and Drogon to incinerate everyone they missed. Her voice in High Valyrian drops to a commanding roar—giving me chills. I watched this scene twice. And I couldn't help thinking Khal Drogo would be proud.