Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 5 Recap

I was out late Sunday night—so once again, I’m getting to my Game of Thrones recap a bit late. But this is why streaming video online is so much better than watching a show when it’s scheduled to air—you can watch it whenever you want. It’s tough to imagine people used to actually have to wait for the DVD collection to come out if they missed an episode of their favorite show, way back when. Life sure was hard then.

[Warning: Tharr be spoilers below.]

But not as hard as it is for the Hound. We start off this episode with the Hound fighting for his life against Beric Dondarrion. Everyone’s against him. The crowd is chanting “KILL HIM.” When he wins—against a man with a flaming sword who can’t die—Arya Stark has to be physically restrained from doing the job herself.

I have to admit I rooted for the Hound here. Sandor Clegane has it even worse than John Snow—he’s a character who always, consistently, gets the shit end of the stick. His brother (the sadly-underutilized-in-this-series Mountain, who is a terrifically scary villain in the books) horribly disfigured him as a child and now he carries scars and a fear of fire. I agree with Nice Guys of Westeros: I secretly believe Sandor when he tells me he’s secretly the nice guy.

I teared up a little when Arya asks Beric if a man without a head could be resurrected—not six times, but just once. Her grief over her father is still very much present.

Meanwhile, John Snow’s Wildling companions don’t quite trust him—and ask him for intelligence to prove his loyalties. Ygritte asks him to prove his loyalty in a different way—by getting naked and breaking his vow of celibacy. I love how she takes charge with him. In a world where women frequently don’t have a choice about whether to have sex—and when they do take charge, it’s often to get something else they want—Ygritte’s agency in this area is refreshing. And who can blame her? John Snow was the hottest virgin in the Seven Kingdoms. (Notice I say was.)

Later we get another bath scene, with Jamie Lannister and Brienne of Tarth. (And man, did Jamie ever need a bath.) They’re now being held at Roose Bolton’s, and their circumstances are a bit better—although Jamie is still a prisoner. Brienne shows that despite everything, she still doesn’t trust Jamie—he is the Kingslayer, after all. Jamie gives her his own origin story—tells her about the Mad King’s horrible deeds and his insanity, and what drove him to kill the King. Jamie wants a truce. “You need trust for a truce,” Brienne says. “I trust you,” Jamie shoots back.

To be honest, in another writer’s hands, the situation between Jamie and Brienne would be prime breeding ground for a romance—But the thing is, just because I want those things from Martin doesn’t mean he’ll deliver. In fact, he probably knows that’s what his readers secretly want to see—because it’s the expected and satisfying outcome of that particular trope—and is deliberately refusing to give it. I feel that’s a big part of why this series is so compelling.

Scenes with Lady Olenna Redwyne are always a bright spot in this series. I love watching her spar with Tyrion—and I really get the sense of Tyrion’s reduced circumstances in life. He’s the brother of the Queen Regent, uncle of the King, and former Hand—but Lady Olenna treats him like a pesky official. Which he is, at this point.

Meanwhile Arya Stark is saddened to hear that Gendry wants to stay with Beric Dondarrion rather than go with her to fight for Robb. “I can be your family,” Arya says—the heartbreak in her voice is palpable. “You wouldn’t be my family,” Gendry replies— “You’d be my lady.”

I love how innocent Arya is about class barriers, in a world where the barriers between people of different classes are almost insurmountable. She unhesitatingly makes friends with butchers’ boys and smiths’ apprentices and bakers’ boys, and never considers herself above them—as even her sister Sansa undoubtedly would. She doesn’t even appear to see those huge class barriers—and in this scene with Gendry, he gently reminds her of them.  But Arya definitely has the ability to connect and sympathize with the common people—which would be a strength of hers if she ever is in a leadership position.

Robb Stark has to kill off the Karstark after he kills some Lannister prisoners in retaliation for his own sons’ deaths. He beheads his former ally himself, as his father would have done. His honor forces him to kill the Karstark, but it’s also a bad tactical decision—he loses one of his most significant allies, and makes his position even more precarious.

Meanwhile we get to see a little more into Stannis’ creepy family life—his wife keeps their stillborn babies in jars. His daughter, Shireen, has a skin disease that deforms her face—but Shireen is actually a sweet kid. She takes a book to the Onion Knight and even offers to teach him how to read, even though he’s in jail for having betrayed her father.

Finally, we get to Daenerys. I love that Barristan Selmy is now part of her entourage—he’s a highly experienced warrior with recent knowledge of the lay of the land in Westeros. Daenerys is another young woman with a common touch—she tells her Unsullied soldiers to choose different names. The Unsullied spokesman tells her he wants to keep his slave name—Grey Worm—because it’s the name he had when he was freed. Guy has a point.

We see Sansa and Margaery Tyrell watching Loras spar—Sansa is already half in love with him—but Loras is hooking up with the handsome squire, who turns out to be a spy for Littlefinger. Later, Littlefinger sounds Sansa out about leaving with him—but Sansa suddenly wants to stick around.

Lastly, Tyrion is horrified when his father declares he has to marry Sansa Stark—this is his solution to the Tyrells’ maneuvering to marry Sansa to Loras. Cersei is initially smug, until her father tells her she’s got to start pulling her weight for the family again—by marrying Loras.

I felt bad for Cersei, as awful as she is, when she begs her father not to make her marry again. And it just goes to show that in this world, even if you’re the highest-ranking woman in the country, women still have very little control over their own fate. Lady Olenna is in a much more enviable position of power, as all the men around her have died and she’s too old to marry off.

So that’s it for this week’s Game of Thrones recap—wrapped up with Shireen’s creepy, whispery rendition of the song her mad fool Patchface sings in the books. Not sure if Patchface will make an appearance here—but I hope so, because he adds to the creepiness of Stannis’ home life. 

What I’m Reading: Dreams and Shadows

I just got back from the Old Settler’s Music Festival in Austin. And with that, I thought it would be appropriate to return to a book I read a little while ago but which is Austin-based as well: Dreams and Shadows by C. Robert Cargill.

I have to say, I love a good gritty fairy tale—where innocent childhood stories are lifted up and twisted around until you see the dark uncanny underbelly lurking underneath. And Dreams and Shadows doesn’t disappoint. We start off with what seems like a sweet love-at-first-sight story, with two kids named Jared and Tiffany who fall in love in high school, get married and have a baby named Ewan. But things go sour when Ewan gets switched at birth for a changeling named Knocks. Pretty soon both Tiffany and Jared come to unpleasant ends—and Knocks is a bitter creature, nursing a grudge against the boy whose life he stole, Ewan, who now lives as a human among fae.

There’s another young boy living a parallel life—Colby, who meets a djinn named Yashar. He wishes for Yashar to give him the ability to see all the paranormal things—and after he does this, he can never go back home. Yashar takes him on a journey, where he sees many wonderful and terrible things—and becomes something he never intended to be.

Colby, Ewan, and Knocks meet up again as young adults—on the streets of Austin and in the surrounding countryside. My favorite storyline was Colby’s; I loved his complicated relationship with Yashar, his djinn benefactor with mysterious ulterior motives.

This wasn’t a perfect book, however. To be honest, I found the storyline of Ewan and Knocks less compelling—especially after they grew to be adults. As an antagonist, I found Knocks’s motivations to be a bit baffling at times—and he felt a bit too uninterruptedly bad and angry to be compelling, with a background that was just too uniformly terrible. I felt the sense of place was a bit thin as well; there wasn’t much in Cargill’s Austin that didn’t feel interchangeable with, say, Williamsburg. At least not to me.  

Even so, I’m still fascinated by Colby’s story—and I hope I see more books that deal more with him specifically. The way the ending is set up, I felt there was plenty of room for more books featuring him—and I’ll definitely pick those up if I see them.

Thoughts... When Life Gives You a Jeffrey, Stroke the Furry Wall

For a comedy about an up-and-coming talent rep and train-wreck fictional has-been rockstar, there are some amazingly deep thoughts in Get Him to the Greek. I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie and if you’re under a certain age or have ... delicate... sensibilities it may not be the right movie for you, nor would I recommend the soundtrack without one helluva sense of humor, but there’s one particular song on that soundtrack -- which directly relates to some mayhem our heroes get into, as most do -- that has stuck with me pretty firmly.

 

More like a lyric.

 

When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

 

 

 

See, there are going to be things in your life that are going to seriously fuck you up (pardon my language). Some you’ll see coming. Their very names reveal their potential to cause harm and proverbial shitstorms. Something called a “Superstorm,” “Stormageddon,” “meltdown,” “dodgeball,” “monster,” or “collision” will not be made of fuzzy kittens and rainbows. They are going to cause damage. They might just break you.

 

But then there are the things you don’t or can’t see coming. Things that have innocuous names. Like Jeffrey. Or Miranda. Or Liam. Or Evita. Princess, sweetheart, or munchkin, even. They seem nice. Friendly, even. Possibly diminutive and/or delicate. Poofy. Then *pow* and you never saw it coming. As someone in the movie says: “No one is going to be scared of something named Jeffrey.” (or a Geoffrey, whichever spelling you prefer. I kept writing Geoffrey, but IMDB tells me I’m wrong.)

Sure, he looks cute now, but just you wait until he's chasing you down.
Those claws and fangs aren't just for show.

 

There are great examples of this. My cat -- a super poofy little thing named Hobbes with a tiny meow and a sudden and ferocious temper. I’m sure you’ve seen those lists of “cute as a baby, nasty as a grown up” pictures of animals circulating the interwebs. Sometimes, it’s a five-foot-nothing blond chick with china doll looks named Karrin (which, by the way I fear as I have read nearly all of Jim Butcher’s novels and the five-foot-nothing blond Karen I know is former military. And, I dare you to tell me it isn’t a healthy fear).

 

It is in those times, when you’re blindsided and the world is upside-down you need a furry wall. You need something comforting to focus on. Something hopeful and happy that maybe takes you back to something good in the past -- a childhood memory or an adult one. A security blanket. A good friend. A literal furry wall (since some of us are more tactile than others). Something solid and real to keep you standing upright.

 

 

 

Of course, a shot of adrenaline might be needed, too. You never know.

 

All of us get hit by Jeffreys, whether of our own choosing or not. And the immediate aftermath leaves us in need of our furry walls. But we also need to keep going. Because whether or not we realize it, we’re on a mission. In the case of the movie, it was getting the Rockstar to the Greek Theater which would, in theory, revitalize his whole career. And in spite of Jeffrey, they still get there.

 

So wherever you are, whomever you are, if you’re rocked, reach out. Grab hold. Get through the storm. Move on.

 

 

Cupcake of the Week: Penguin Gets Tickled

I dare you not to smile at this penguin being tickled.

Happy Wednesday.

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4 Recap

I spent a lovely weekend in Austin for the Old Settler’s Music Festival—and thus I’m late with my recap of Season 3, Episode 4 of Game of Thrones. But better late than never, right?

[WARNING: Tharr be spoilers below. So if you haven’t watched Season 3, Episode 4, take a step back.]

A lot happens in this episode, so this will be a bit long. 

We start off with an image of Jaime Lannister’s severed hand hanging around his own neck. Jaime has clearly lost the will to live—or even stay on his horse. He falls off into the mud, where his captors give him horse pee to drink and then give him an ass-kicking. Later, Brienne prods him to eat—to live, to take revenge. And she has a great response ready when he says he wants to die. “You have a taste,” she says, “One taste of the real world, where people have important things taken from them, and you whine and cry and quit.” Say what you will about Brienne, that woman is a real friend. She actually gets Jamie to eat.

Meanwhile, Tyrion comes to Varys looking for proof that Cersei had tried to have him killed at the Battle of King’s Landing. Varys has no proof—but he does offer up his origin story. I found myself thinking what the world would be like if we all had origin monologues like this one and launched into them apropos of nothing periodically, like in this scene. Long story short, Varys was castrated by a magician, and he now keeps that magician tied up in a crate. That’s not much help for Tyrion, though.

Up north of the Wall, Sam tries to offer Gilly some kindness. Gilly brushes it off. “I don’t want your stupid thimble,” she says, giving him back a gift he’d given her earlier. “I want to save my baby’s life. Can you do that? Can you? I don’t have time for you.” I loved this moment—she is basically demanding Sam put his actions where his words are, and actually do something to help her baby rather than offering useless platitudes.

Meanwhile, Margaery Tyrell continues to grow her influence over Joffrey. Her work with the orphanages, while building goodwill for Joffrey, also had the potential to make him feel threatened—but Margaery shrewdly shows him to the people and lets him think they adore him.

Cersei can see her hold on Joffrey slipping away—and she’s failing at gaining any influence over her father. “Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserves your confidence and your trust? Not your sons, not Jamie or Tyrion but me?” She demands. “I don’t trust you because you’re not as smart as you think you are,” Tywin shoots back, after handily recasting her problem with the Tyrells as her own inability to control her son. Like Tyrion, Cersei is handicapped from birth—her by her gender, his by his height.  

And then there’s Olenna Tyrell—Margaery’s grandmother. I love how she doesn’t give a shit. Her monologue about the insipidness of her family’s seal is just pure genius. She’s right. Roses are boring. When Varys offers her a few flirtatious pleasantries, she coquettishly asks him if he’s trying to seduce her. “Oh no, pleeease, seduce away. It's been soooo long,” she simpers. “Although I rather think it’s all for naught—what happens when the nonexistent bumps up against the decrepit? A question for the philosophers.” HA! I’ve now found my role model for who I want to become as an old lady.

Varys and Olenna proceed to entertainingly plot Sansa Stark’s future. Apparently she’s the key to the North if her brother fails—making her a very valuable pawn. Later, Margaery deftly befriends Sansa and plants the idea of marrying Loras in her head. Sansa seriously needs to get it together. Like with Sam in the last episode, I keep holding my breath and hoping she’ll start becoming a player—so far it hasn’t happened.

The Hound is being held by Beric Dondarrion for murder—Arya Stark pipes up about him killing her friend the butcher’s boy. The Merry Gentlemen decide to subject the Hound to a trial by combat—which seems like a really bad idea, considering what a badass swordsman he is (and also the fact that he looms over everyone in the cave where they’ve decided to do this for some reason).

And then we get to the scene you’ve all been waiting for. YES, Daenerys Targaryen—who’s been faking the whole time about 1). planning to actually sell one of her beloved dragon-children (come on; you didn't really think she'd do that, did you??) and 2). needing a translator. She passes off her dragon—I think the biggest one is Drogon?—to the slaveowner, then commands her new slave army to slaughter everyone in sight (except civilians) and Drogon to incinerate everyone they missed. Her voice in High Valyrian drops to a commanding roar—giving me chills. I watched this scene twice. And I couldn't help thinking Khal Drogo would be proud.

Cupcake of the Week - Sweet Ways to Quit

Oh, we've all thought about it: some kind of glorious last goodbye to a job or a task we hate. I personally love the story of the flight attendant who, fed up, popped the emergency slide grabbed two beers and took the quick way out, waving the bird the whole way, but that's just one way to do it.

Some are sweeter than others.



I stumbled across this article and figured that while you or I may never actually go this route, it was certainly something we can all savor in that part of our collective hearts reserved for that spectacular send off.

For your enjoyment, a list of sweet resignation cakes from BuzzFeed. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, I'm going to have another look at the pile of crap in my basement that needs sorting ... my old story notes, random gifts bought but never sent, things I said I'd "fix" and never got around to.... gah, that's a project I'd like to quit! (My husband says I can't set fire to it. I've got to do it the old fashioned way.... but only because it would burn his stuff, too.... And the house. Stupid house.)
:(

Wish me luck!

Spring Is Here!

There's this movie, Limitless, with Bradley Cooper. The premise is that there's this pill that makes you smarter--not just book-smarts, either, but smarter in all areas of your life--in your relationships, in your work, in everything, you become a genius. In the movie, Bradley Cooper's character takes the pill and sits down to finish in a week a book he'd been working on for years, seduces his arch-nemesis with his amazing people skills, and gets rich through some kind of stock-market wizardry. There's some nonsense with organized crime and murder, but the point--the POINT--is that there could be this amazing pill that transforms you into the person you always wanted to be--the person you've kept trying and failing to be this whole time.

Say what you will about the movie itself--that is a compelling concept.

I have been in a bit of a #dark place lately. Mainly, it has to do with the editing process. I'm working hard to get my first novel into shape. In the past three months since Christmas, I felt like I had been trying to write novels all my life and felt so frustrated I wasn't better, stronger, smarter, and more-- more everything by now. I just kept feeling like I was hurling myself against the limits of my own talent and coming off bruised and battered.

I've never been that interested in drugs. But I would totally get addicted to the Limitless pill. I would move mountains, cut off limbs, sell my soul, whatever is required, to get my hands on some. I would even take a few awesome years of genius followed by decline. I would do it. Just so I could stop disappointing myself, at least for a while.

But spring is here--or at least it's starting, slowly, to feel like it. And I've been starting to come out of my dark place. At Genn's behest, I wrote an outline of my book as it stands now--and feel a renewed sense of purpose. I'm starting to see where the weak points are and specific things I can fix. And things are starting to look possible again. Even big, audacious goals. 

So welcome, Spring. I hope with you here, things will get better. I feel life improving already.

Game of Thrones Recap: Season 3, Episode 3

I have to admit it. When Game of Thrones episodes end, I feel a gray, sucking void in my heart. It  may be indigestion from the chili I’ve been eating while watching. But it’s also just the bleak feeling of knowing that I’ll have to wait another week for the next episode. So that’s why I’m blogging my viewing of this season’s Game of Thrones—to just live in that world for a little longer. And commiserate with all of you, of course.

[WARNING: Tharrr be spoilers. If you haven’t yet watched Season 3, Episode 3 of Game of Thrones, stop—go watch it—and then come back. I’ll wait.]

So this episode starts off with a funeral for Cat Stark’s father. Edmure (Cat’s brother) can’t quite seem to get the funeral boat lighted with a fiery arrow in true epic fashion. (To be honest, I would also fail at this and so would pretty much everyone I know. Except possibly my dad, who can do anything.) So the Blackfish shoves him aside and gets the job done. The Blackfish is clearly everyone’s favorite badass uncle. Later Edmure gets a reaming from Robb and said badass uncle for his tactical shortsightedness. Sigh…I love when Robb Stark gets all strategic.

Tyrion Lannister got deposed by his father as the King’s Hand in a previous episode; here, he’s assigned the job of Master of Coin. The general sense is that this is a major demotion, but coin is the lifeblood of the realm—and Tyrion now has his hand on its  jugular. I’m looking forward to seeing how he turns this to his advantage. Not sure this is what Cersei meant when she condescendingly told Tyrion he was entirely up to this task—but I think she was right.

Meanwhile, Jon Snow and his new Wildling buddies stumble upon a scale model of the Milky Way galaxy composed entirely of freeze-dried horse parts--bolstering my suspicion that the White Walkers are really just a collective of tragically misunderstood artists. I find myself wishing I had a friend so deliciously named as Hot Pie who baked me bread animals. Cat mourns her dead father and allegedly-dead sons, and Sam gets fat-shamed at Craster’s Keep. 

Not for the first time, I find myself wishing Sam would discover an amazing talent for map-reading or horse-whispering or something that makes him indispensable to the others, transforming him into a valued member of the group—because that’s a story that’s been told over and over about underdog characters. But Martin’s world isn’t that kind, and I’m not holding out much hope for that.

Melisandre takes her leave of Stannis for mysterious reasons—but not before getting in a dig that implies a lack of, um…manly prowess. (“Your fires burn low, my King.”) Ouch. On the other side of the world, I am happy to see that a minor character of color, the translator for the Unsullied’s masters, may take on a bigger role as a new member of Daenerys’ entourage. And this character gets in a great line: “There are no masters in the grave.” Chills.

Podrick loses his virginity in epic fashion to a bevy of stunningly beautiful contortionsit prostitutes—a reward for saving Tyrion’s life. The girls won’t even take payment—making us all curious about what Podrick is hiding behind his convincing veneer of slightly gape-mouthed innocence.

Theon Greyjoy gets released by a mysterious benefactor, chased down by his captors, and then rescued again—more than he deserves. If I remember correctly (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), this is a departure from what happens in the book—so I’m wondering what kind of surprises the script has in store for readers.

And finally, Jamie Lannister saves Brienne of Tarth from rape with his quick wit and smooth talking skills—and loses his hand for his troubles. Jamie’s storyline makes me marvel at the sheer mastery of a writer who can make a character who pushes small children out of high windows sympathetic over the course of a story. Pure genius.

This episode ends with an absolutely ripping rendition of “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” by Brooklyn-based band The Hold Steady. I’d stick around—but I need to find out where I can download that post-haste.

Until next week!