Monday, 1 July 2013

My Top Four Cures for 'Butthurt-itis'

Lately, I've been feeling a bit butthurt by life. I couldn't tell you why. Life has been pretty much the same as always. Maybe a few more curve balls and less good news and  more ''oh f*ck off'' kind of news.  Maybe it's that cumulative wearing down that happens before your internal thoughts shift back to centre. But man, my reactions were not in sync with how I felt they should be. How I normally react to certain situations. I think (hope) I've kept my bad case of 'butthurt-itis' well hidden.  

If, like me, life has been treating you a bit unkindly, here's my top four cures for 'butthurt-itis'. I'd like to state that these are simply my advice for getting over your period of 'butthurt-itis'. This is by no means a cure for depression or anxiety or anything stronger than a bit of a life bitch-slapping.

1) Lower your expectations. Normally, your expectations are in line with what people can (and do) deliver, but right now for reasons outside of your control your expectations are not in line with reality. This could be because you are too needy (sorry, but it's true), it could be because those you depend on are going through bigger things and don't have time for your drama (other people have drama too!), it could be because the people you are turning to just can't give you what you need (it happens). Do not get butthurt. Do not Tweet or post on Facebook emo-passive-aggressive status updates. Instead, lower your expectations. Just because you're having a tough time, doesn't mean the world is against you. Lower your expectations. Expect less and the universe will slowly start to prove to you that much like in writing, less is more.

2) Write a completely over the top blog post/journal entry etc and never ever post it. We've all been there. Life is hard and sure to break your heart. It's important sometimes to just write it all down. Maybe cry a little (it's cathartic) but do not post this heart break on the internet. I repeat: Do not post this on the internet. Why? Because things on the internet live forever (much like the Original Vampires on The Vampire Diaries.) I've said it before, for every smart thing I love, I love something like The Vampire Dairies. I think this is what makes me a well-rounded human being. Anyway, if, after you've slept on your post, you still want to put it on the internet (why?!) get a second opinion from a trusted friend (you'd better believe most of my blog posts are read by friends before I set them live!). But remember, your blog posts do live forever and the hurt you feel now, the hurt you think you've cleverly hidden might be very transparent to the people who love you (or the person you're directing your butthurt-itis at). Is that really something you want to make public? Would it not be better to discuss it in person (or over the phone). Maybe with tea? Or wine?

3) Drink Wine from a posh tea cup. Really the posher the better. If you can, use a saucer. Pretend this is a high tea, a tea party all for yourself. When I got married I bought beautiful wine glasses. I never drink wine from cups. I'm a bit of a wine snob like that. However, the more butthurt-itis reared it's terrible head the more I thought, go back to what's simple. Wine out of a tea cup (or any cup). Unpretentious wine consumption. Here's the thing, there's few things in life that will cheer you up when your emotions are out of whack. Wine (or tea) are usually a good bet. But really, it's just the act of slowing down for a minute and breathing that is going to give you some perspective. And if seeing wine in a tea cup doesn't make you think of a simpler time (I'm thinking college) then put soda in a tea cup, water, whatever. Whatever doesn't belong but reminds you of playing at a tea party as a kid. Because imaginary tea parties (hell, most things from childhood) are pretty damn awesome. If that kind of awesome doesn't at least create a dent in your 'butthurt-itis' you might need more help then this blog post can give you. 

Nothing says class like rose wine in a rose cup, right? C'mom that had to make you smile? See, banish that 'butthurt-itis' like its nobody's business. 

4. Give yourself an enforced social media blackout- You know how everyone on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr all seem to be leading a much more fabulous life than you are? I've got a newsflash, most of them probably aren't. They are just much much much better about sharing the good parts and keeping the bad parts to themselves. If so much good, oversharing, bragging is getting you down then it's time to give yourself an enforced media blackout. Turn off the interwebs. Read a good book. Take a bath. Do some yoga. Go for a run. Whatever. Just don't endlessly check your social media. Shockingly, social media can make you feel . . . less than social. Sometimes embracing your inner hermit is the only way forward. (I know, I scarely believe it myself).

I tried to get to five cures for 'butthurt-itis', but failed. The thing with 'butthurt-itis' is that it just saps your energy and requires different coping skills every time it rears it's ugly face. These are my current cures. I'd also suggest getting up and moving. Dance around (like a jackass), sing at the top of your lungs, go for a run or swim (have I mentioned swimming is the best?) or take a hot bath.

What are your cures for when the 'butthurt-itits' strikes? Leave me a comment or tweet me @gennmcmenemy. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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