Cupcake...: Mental Floss... I Wish I had Some Right Now....

So, I have an unabashed love for trivia, and since Genn got me onto the Green brothers videos, the MentalFloss videos featuring the Green brothers is like chocolate covered crack.

But, it's been a few weeks since I'd watched one and I was catching up and I figured that if this was going to be indelibly burned into my brain, it should be in yours, too.

Mind you, I knew some of this already thanks to some conversations and questions flung between us three, but as he recommends in the video, don't look things up if you're squeamish, or if you're at work.

So, I do have two questions for anyone out there for the comments:

1) It doesn't have to be in relation to anything about the video, but do you have a piece of trivia that gives you the heebie jeebies you'd like to share?

2) I'm looking at a reading stretch in the near future and I'm looking for some recommends. I'll offer some of mine, but what would you recommend?

Living Alone is a Skill

I was knocking around the Internet the other day and I found this quote from Elizabeth May’s Tumblr:

“Living alone is a skill, like running long distance or programming old computers. You have to know parameters, protocols. You have to learn them so well they become like a language: to have music always so that the silence doesn’t overwhelm you, to perform your work exquisitely well so that your time is filled. You have to allow yourself to open up until you are the exact size of the place you live, no more, or else you get restless. No less, or else you drown. There are rules; there are ways of being and not being.”

It’s from Palimpsest by Catherynne Valente. And every word of it is true. Painfully, gloriously true.

I live alone.  I love where I live and how I live. But it isn’t always easy, and there are times when I do have to work at it. There are times when I feel myself opening up larger than the place I inhabit; it’s a small apartment, and this isn’t hard. I feel myself getting restless, impatient for the next thing, whatever that is.

I fill my life with projects. Acting projects, writing projects. I never have a second that isn’t full of purpose, unless I want one. I’m never at a loss for things to do. This is a coping mechanism, sure. But it feels right. I wouldn’t replace it with a home centered around kids, a husband, family. That doesn’t change the fact that I love my family more than anything, or that I want a husband someday. But right now, my life is all about me: my own ambitions, my own dreams. I love it like that. I’m not the self-sacrificing type.

There are times when I wake up and it’s too quiet and I have to have NPR on. But there are other times when I’m coming back from a busy night out, and stepping through the door into my empty apartment is like slipping into a warm bath. It’s liberating and comforting at the same time. This place is my shelter, small as it’s becoming, and it’s mine.

What I've Been Reading - The Old Book Pile

I'm back into the old book pile and I'm still super surprised at how little I remember some of these books I've been rereading. I'm almost wondering if I read them at all. Which is strange because I'm usually pretty good on read-recall. I'm not going to name names, though. Mostly because the books in question of the last couple of weeks have been both out-of-print and (embarrassingly) god-awful romance novels that I've been hanging on to for I can't remember how long.

For some of these books, I don't even know why I've been holding on to them. Even though I love a well written book, several of these are not. And like an earlier complaint of mine the relationships kind of suck. I don't see the attraction between our protagonists at all and/or some of these people are just plain ridiculous.

It doesn't help that some of the plot lines seem to go along the lines of this:

Actually, that may have been why I saved them all these years. It would have been lovely, right? ;) I've had most of these for about that long. I'm still weeding through them, mostly because I figure I need to decide if I'll ever read this popcorn again. Especially since I have books that I've read both more recently and had for a really long time that inspire me to feel like this:

I suppose I just can't figure out why I can't remember these books as well as some others. (Including that high fantasy book I disliked in high school that got me banned from a friend's house because I gave it to him and warned him that there were some parts his parents wouldn't like and I wasn't particularly interested in having just lying around my house -- not that I recommended the book at all, just that if he wanted it, it was all his. I'm just glad my sisters and brother never read it -- there's just something about a woman getting flayed alive, leaving nothing but her face recognizable and vividly described that just struck me as something I didn't want my sibs to get their hands on.....)

Maybe it's because they're fast reading? I don't know. I'd get rid of the lot, except that I know there must be some reason I've been hanging on to some of them forever.

I dunno. Does anyone else have the same issue?

Cupcake of the Week: Dalek in Love

So I've been getting into Dr. Who lately. I started watching at my brother's house in Utah, and I kept going after I got home. The unabashed nerd in me (the same girl who adored the original Star Trek, especially the bit where they swirled glitter in water to get the teleport effect) loves it.

So, here's your cupcake for the week. It's
Dr. Who-themed. Whee!!

What I'm Reading: Dead Ever After by Charlaine Harris

This summer marked the end of an era: specifically, the end of the Sookie Stackhouse era. (By which I mean t  I’ve lived with these books and these characters for a long time, and I felt the need to write a review.

he books. The television series, as far as I know, won’t be stopping anytime soon).

[Warning: Tharrr be spoilers below.]

I’m a romance reader at heart. And with a series like this, I always look for the romance thread and latch on—because that’s what thrills me the most. To be honest, I’ve had a bit of a bone to pick with this series ever since Bill and Sookie didn’t work out. Bill was a passionate Southern gentleman (in a good way)—genteel, smouldering, and exactly perfect for Sookie in so many ways. The other guys in her life—including Alcide, Quinn, and even Eric—just didn’t make as much sense to me.

I’ve never been a big fan of the Eric / Sookie pairing, to be honest. From the sneaky way Eric married her without her knowledge to the equally sneaky way he dissolved that marriage in this last book, he never truly seemed to have Sookie’s best interests at heart—as far as I could tell, he was always just out for himself. And as he grew more distant in the last few books, their relationship started looking increasingly one-sided.

But I started to realize that this isn’t a series about love. It’s a series about survival. Sookie has been tortured, beaten, almost killed, and almost raped as a result of her involvement in various supernatural communities—and as a direct result of her love for supernatural men.

And she’s had to seriously compromise her values. The men she’s loved throughout the series have put her in positions where she’s had to do terrible things to other people, including murder. Vampires in particular seem to be particularly unhealthy to human lovers. And as romantic and passionate and seemingly perfect for her as Bill was, he was no exception.

Despite her bloody past, Sookie seems to want stability, love, and family—and to revel in the happy glow of these things from the more stable lives of her friends and family. But she’s like the troubled girlfriend we all have (okay, some of us have been that person) who keeps saying she wants stability, and keeps going for the unstable relationships. The more bad dating choices she made, the farther away she seemed to get from the warm glow of that love.  

I was happy to see her move toward a more stable relationship in this book. But I wasn’t sold on the idea that her one true love has been Sam this whole time. Sam has been a good, stable friend for the most part. But maybe I just missed the spark between them. Sure, Sam might have had feelings for Sookie at one point—but she’s always been quite firm about putting him in the friend zone. So this ending was bittersweet for me: was she really suddenly into Sam, or was she just settling in favor of finding that stability she’s always wanted?

I think I would have felt more comfortable with an ending that left Sookie alone, but feeling good and happy and empowered—and excited about what life would bring her next. After all, we don’t all need to be in a relationship to be happy. And given the bloody and dangerous nature of her past relationships, I feel like I would have wanted to see Sookie find that stability and happiness within herself—before moving on to a new man.

Cupcake of the Week: How Would You Be Different if you were Born a Woman?

When I saw this a few weeks ago I just thought, Dustin Hoffman gets it. He really gets it. His answer is so genuine and his breakdown at the end is powerful.

I'll let the video speak for itself. If you've got thoughts I'd love to hear them so leave them in the comments.

Basket Case

 

I'm Angel. A bit odd and often
looking for trouble....
even if I make it myself.

Somehow, I've gotten behind again. It'll get better, I know it will. Mostly because eventually I get caught up: my left brain and right brain start working together again, my left foot and my right foot reconnect and both hands get on the keyboard and we start moving in a more positive direction.

Until that happens, I tend to be something of a list fanatic and a basket case -- but not the way you might think. No, for those projects and things that are in progress or shortly to be done that have some kind of physical heft to them (unlike, say, remembering my blog posts) I put them here:

So, there are books and magazines, craft projects, things to fill out, and it's not the tidiest way to keep it, but it helps to know that I can reach in and grab something as it comes up in the list... like this project list:

Jenny! I found the book I'm hoping to give you good news soon!

Of course, this is only one of my lists, but it helps keep me honest.

How do you stay organized?


What I'm Reading: Heart-Shaped Bruise

Remember when I was all like, 'Hey, I'm totally going to read these 8 books before the 1st September!". You know, like two weeks ago. Well, here is your first (of many, I hope) progress reports.

I finally finished A Feast for Crows on Monday. After a frantic tweeting session with one of my friends, I've decided to have a break from Westeros for a little while. Actually, I didn't so much decide it, as I opened up the fifth book and as the prologue starts with a new character set the book down. If ever there was a sign to take a break, that was it.

So, what to read next?

I quickly grabbed my copy of Heart-Shaped Bruise and settled in for a fantastic, if frantic, page-turning read. Heart-Shaped Bruise is the story of Emily Koll, an inmate at Archway Young Offenders Institution who has been put away for a heinous crime. A crime so terrible that she's been dubbed 'evil' by the press. But, its also a crime that the reader doesn't know about. I'm 50 pages from the end and the big 'henious crime' reveal hasn't happened yet. I have to keep myself from flipping ahead to find out what it is. The tension in the book is great. You spend most of your time almost siding with Emily and then remembering she's an unreliable narrator.

Who is Emily Koll? Is she a monster? It's difficult to say (and I'm nearly finished!). Emily's beloved father is sent to prison for murdering a police officer (in his own home). He was only caught because Juliet Shaw, the police officer's daughter heard the commotion and stabbed him. Emily wants revenge. But not just any kind of revenge. She had no idea her father was a mobster. Juliet didn't just take her father away from her, she took away the carefully crafted lie of a life Emily had been leading.

Now, armed with a fake ID, Emily is determined to snake her way into Juliet's new life. The life Juliet has been forced to rebuild in the witness protection programme. What follows is a tense story told in diary entries that look at Emily today (locked away) and the girl Emily became (Rose Glass) in order to exact her revenge.

I can't recommend this book highly enough! I've not been able to put it down. Part fantastic thriller and part psychological study, this is a book about broken people and the terrible things they do to try to become whole again. It reminds me a lot of the fantastic Ketchup Clouds and I'm not just saying that because I worked on it in my day job! (Ketchup Clouds won the Waterstones Children's Book of the Year this Year!) Both books are told in a series of diary entries and are compelling, tense and brilliant. Both narrators are keeping dark secrets about the horrible crimes they committed and confessing to the reader the only way they can, with words on paper. Both are stories not to be missed. They will break your heart. Trust me.

Right, now to finish Heart-Shaped Bruise so that I can start another book from the pile.

Happy Reading!

Summer in New York: On Books and Babies

I love it. 

I love the heat. I love walking down the street in a tank top or a sundress, feeling the sun on my skin, feeling sweaty just walking up the subway stairs. I love Sangria at a sidewalk table, rooftop barbecues, and lazing around in the park. I love how the stifling heat of my apartment makes me want to get outside—rather than be a hermit and escape the cold.

This summer has been especially great for me because I’m thiiiiiis close to having my novel ready for agents. Another two weeks to a month should do it—and I couldn’t be happier. This is a huge change from a month ago, when I felt like I could never write anything anyone would want to read, had zero talent or ability, and should really just give it all up and crawl in a hole somewhere. I was in a seriously dark place.

My sister in law just gave birth, and I went up to visit the baby for a week. The whole time, I watched her and my brother take care of their beautiful new baby boy—feed him, rock him, read to him, and keep him happy every minute of the day, including late into the night. 

Now, I'm sure people who have actually been parents will roll their eyes to hear me say this--and tell me that writing a book is nowhere near as hard as taking care of a child. But I couldn't help being reminded of what that process was like for me when I was in the last throes of getting my book from messy wreck of a draft to something readable.   I cut out everything else in my life. I stopped going out. I stopped acting. All there was in my life was my novel, and paying the rent. I barely had time to shower.

I’ve written before about how my biological clock is attuned to cats. (I really, really want a kitten. Two kittens, actually. Maybe five.) I haven’t written seriously about how I don’t want to be a parent. But maybe that feeling in me isn’t as simple as negating something. Maybe it’s just that I’ve chosen another kind of parenthood. The kind that’s more about books than babies.This isn't to say that I think you can't be both. There are probably lots of people out there who balance it beautifully. I'm just pretty sure I wouldn't be one of them. 

I love my nephew, and I can’t wait to watch him grow up. I feel a little more relaxed around kids—my brother says I just need practice. I still feel solid and sure about my decision not to have kids. But I've come to see this as choosing a different kind of parenthood.  Some people are just creatively fertile. I hope I turn out to be one of them.

Behold the Slow Loris!!!

I'm in Utah this week, visiting my brand-new nephew. And I was going to publish something serious on the blog. But really, what I wanted to do was give you THIS. It is a slow loris. Getting tickled.

The slow loris is one of the only poisonous mammals in the world. It's deadly. And deadly cute. Observe:

My Top Four Cures for 'Butthurt-itis'

Lately, I've been feeling a bit butthurt by life. I couldn't tell you why. Life has been pretty much the same as always. Maybe a few more curve balls and less good news and  more ''oh f*ck off'' kind of news.  Maybe it's that cumulative wearing down that happens before your internal thoughts shift back to centre. But man, my reactions were not in sync with how I felt they should be. How I normally react to certain situations. I think (hope) I've kept my bad case of 'butthurt-itis' well hidden.  

If, like me, life has been treating you a bit unkindly, here's my top four cures for 'butthurt-itis'. I'd like to state that these are simply my advice for getting over your period of 'butthurt-itis'. This is by no means a cure for depression or anxiety or anything stronger than a bit of a life bitch-slapping.

1) Lower your expectations. Normally, your expectations are in line with what people can (and do) deliver, but right now for reasons outside of your control your expectations are not in line with reality. This could be because you are too needy (sorry, but it's true), it could be because those you depend on are going through bigger things and don't have time for your drama (other people have drama too!), it could be because the people you are turning to just can't give you what you need (it happens). Do not get butthurt. Do not Tweet or post on Facebook emo-passive-aggressive status updates. Instead, lower your expectations. Just because you're having a tough time, doesn't mean the world is against you. Lower your expectations. Expect less and the universe will slowly start to prove to you that much like in writing, less is more.

2) Write a completely over the top blog post/journal entry etc and never ever post it. We've all been there. Life is hard and sure to break your heart. It's important sometimes to just write it all down. Maybe cry a little (it's cathartic) but do not post this heart break on the internet. I repeat: Do not post this on the internet. Why? Because things on the internet live forever (much like the Original Vampires on The Vampire Diaries.) I've said it before, for every smart thing I love, I love something like The Vampire Dairies. I think this is what makes me a well-rounded human being. Anyway, if, after you've slept on your post, you still want to put it on the internet (why?!) get a second opinion from a trusted friend (you'd better believe most of my blog posts are read by friends before I set them live!). But remember, your blog posts do live forever and the hurt you feel now, the hurt you think you've cleverly hidden might be very transparent to the people who love you (or the person you're directing your butthurt-itis at). Is that really something you want to make public? Would it not be better to discuss it in person (or over the phone). Maybe with tea? Or wine?

3) Drink Wine from a posh tea cup. Really the posher the better. If you can, use a saucer. Pretend this is a high tea, a tea party all for yourself. When I got married I bought beautiful wine glasses. I never drink wine from cups. I'm a bit of a wine snob like that. However, the more butthurt-itis reared it's terrible head the more I thought, go back to what's simple. Wine out of a tea cup (or any cup). Unpretentious wine consumption. Here's the thing, there's few things in life that will cheer you up when your emotions are out of whack. Wine (or tea) are usually a good bet. But really, it's just the act of slowing down for a minute and breathing that is going to give you some perspective. And if seeing wine in a tea cup doesn't make you think of a simpler time (I'm thinking college) then put soda in a tea cup, water, whatever. Whatever doesn't belong but reminds you of playing at a tea party as a kid. Because imaginary tea parties (hell, most things from childhood) are pretty damn awesome. If that kind of awesome doesn't at least create a dent in your 'butthurt-itis' you might need more help then this blog post can give you. 

Nothing says class like rose wine in a rose cup, right? C'mom that had to make you smile? See, banish that 'butthurt-itis' like its nobody's business. 

4. Give yourself an enforced social media blackout- You know how everyone on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr all seem to be leading a much more fabulous life than you are? I've got a newsflash, most of them probably aren't. They are just much much much better about sharing the good parts and keeping the bad parts to themselves. If so much good, oversharing, bragging is getting you down then it's time to give yourself an enforced media blackout. Turn off the interwebs. Read a good book. Take a bath. Do some yoga. Go for a run. Whatever. Just don't endlessly check your social media. Shockingly, social media can make you feel . . . less than social. Sometimes embracing your inner hermit is the only way forward. (I know, I scarely believe it myself).

I tried to get to five cures for 'butthurt-itis', but failed. The thing with 'butthurt-itis' is that it just saps your energy and requires different coping skills every time it rears it's ugly face. These are my current cures. I'd also suggest getting up and moving. Dance around (like a jackass), sing at the top of your lungs, go for a run or swim (have I mentioned swimming is the best?) or take a hot bath.

What are your cures for when the 'butthurt-itits' strikes? Leave me a comment or tweet me @gennmcmenemy. I'd love to hear your thoughts!