"So, What's Your Novel About?"

So the other day I was in a café. Quietly working along, digging into some revisions. There’s a guy, sitting at a table a little behind me. I turn around, thinking to stand up and go get a refill on my coffee, and I catch him looking over my shoulder, reading my novel.

He piped up. “Whatcha writing?”

Me: “Um. A story.” 

Him:  “Is it a short story or a novel?” (He tried to look around me at my laptop screen again.)

Me: “A novel.” 

Him: “Wow, that’s cool! What’s it about?”

I managed to mutter something about how I didn't really want to talk about it before scurrying away to another table. And to be fair, this guy was clearly not picking up on my cues. I was obviously very uncomfortable, and he kept pressing on. Not to mention he kept peeking at my laptop screen--I can't be the only person who thinks this is akin to casually standing under a stairway so you can peek up women's skirts. You don't go around peering at people's private stuff.

But atill, I was awkward. And I'm not really that socially awkward in general (although I definitely have my moments.) And I'm not reluctant to talk about my book to the right audience. I chat happily away about it in groups full of other writers and genre fiction fans--safe audiences. And I have a great elevator pitch. If called upon to talk about my book to an agent or a publisher, I would have no problem.

But I kind of have to know you're a safe audience before telling you the details. And knowing you're "safe" has nothing to do with trusting you or being close to you. It's more about knowing you're into that kind of thing. People who  aren't into fantasy or romance themselves typically don't question me about my plot beyond my most general answer. But sometimes they do. And it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I would say I don't know why--but I do. It's because when I do go into it in detail, sometimes the response goes something like this:

“Oh, you write fantasy? You mean like Twilight? I hated that movie.”

“Oh, you write romance? I heard there’s a formula every romance writer uses and all the books are pretty much exactly the same. Hell, my five-year-old niece could probably write a romance novel.”

“Oh, you write fantasy? You mean like elves and vampires and wizards and shit?” [Rolls eyes]

“Oh, you write romance? There’s no money in romance. You should follow me and my friends around and write a book about us. We’re hilarious. Here, allow me to launch into this long-winded and boring story to prove it....”

“Oh, you write romance and fantasy? Why don’t you write a real book? Like Truman Capote or J.D. Salinger.”

“Oh, you write novels? What have you written that I’ve read?…Oh, sorry, your stuff isn’t published yet? I thought you said you were a writer.”

Granted, these are exaggerations. Much of these types of responses are conveyed in undertone, not in overt words. But you’d be surprised at how insensitive some people can be—and how sensitive some writers can be about our work. At any rate, I have to come up with a better response to this question--one that allows me to deflect this question gracefully. Any suggestions are welcome.