Five Things Never to Ask a Writer

I usually don’t talk that much about my novels. Definitely not in casual situations or making small talk--because people tend to ask the following questions, which make me cringe. If you're in a conversation with someone and they mention they write novels (or someone else tells you about it), here's what not to ask next:

1.     Wow, really? What books of yours have I read?

Okay, so first of all, I have no idea what books you’ve read. So I really can’t answer that question anyway.

But second, if you’re talking to an unpublished writer, you’re just rubbing it in their face that they’re not published yet. The only truthful answer to this question is something along the lines of “Nothing, because I’m not published yet.” At which point, the questioner often either subtly insinuates or comes right out and says that the writer “isn’t a real writer yet.” Uh huh. Thanks for pointing that out.

2.     Wow, really? Tell me all about the plot!

I try to avoid divulging any details about the plots of my books to anyone I’m not already 100% sure is a sympathetic audience—a good friend and a fan of the genre. Not because I think you'll steal my idea or anything like that. It's because new plots are fragile. And it can take only a small amount of ridicule to destroy your confidence in one. You may be the most sympathetic audience ever--but romance and fantasy aren't everyone's cup of tea. And if I don't know you well, I won't want to risk it.

As a lifetime writer, I’ve learned to be careful who I share my ideas with. Very careful. It took me about three years to share a plot of mine with my boyfriend. Nobody in my family knows much about  my plots. Only a very small circle of friends do—mostly people who also write.

3.     Wow, really? Can I read it?

I almost always say no to this. And people sometimes get a little offended. There is no offense meant. But I'm careful about who I share my writing and ideas with, especially when I'm in the early stages of things.

It’s not that I’m overprotective of my ideas. When it’s time, I will share my novel with a wider audience of readers. But even then, I’ll need to choose those people carefully. 

NOTE: Obviously, two and three above don't apply if you are a literary agent. If that's the case, just go ahead and ask me those questions.

4.     Wow, really? I’m writing a book too. Want to read that?

I get how important it is to get someone else to read over your manuscript before you send it out. If I didn’t have my beta-readers, my books would all be complete disasters. But reading and critiquing someone else’s novel is a lot of work. I do it regularly for my two writing partners, and I am very, very careful about who else I do it for. I just don’t have time to do this for everyone who wants it done.

5.     Wow, really? I have a great idea for a book, but I’m not a writer. Maybe you can write it for me!

You’d be surprised how often people say this. But the thing is, whatever idea you’re about to tell me will always be your idea—not mine. I usually suggest that people with ideas like this pick up a pen or open up a Word doc and give it a shot at life themselves. You never know—you may be more of a writer than you’ve imagined.