Scales are Undecided.....

I spent most of the weekend trying to figure out where to go with this Monday's post. I really did. Because in the last month it's been some interesting times. I had my own brush with something good lately, but I've been half ashamed to talk about it, mostly because I really feel like I compromised something when It happened.

It was actually something I talked about on Tumblr.



If you can't get on the tumblrs, here's the later part of it.

Allow me to explain, though, why I'm still uncomfortable.

While my arguments were valid to an extent: the DMZ (DC Metro Zone, or so I'm told) has gotten a lot more progressive in the last year. We voted on and approved of the right for LBGT folks to marry in Maryland -- which paves the way for their spouses to be able to be part of each other's benefits, it opens up avenues for them in terms of inheritance laws, and so many other things. By changing the way the laws see their relationships, it allows them the right to stand up in court and say this person is the person I am spending the rest of my life with, the person I am sharing everything I am and everything I have with, and we don't have to worry about draconian crap -- at least in this state -- any more. Religion and "traditionalist" folks aside, this is a huge cultural and legal coup.

Which is why, even though it was one of my absolute favorite places in the world to go to eat (and one of two bastions of fast food I had left I could eat from), after the president-and-CEO of Chick-Fil-A started talking smack last year expressed is political and social beliefs last year, I told myself that I needed to show solidarity to my friends and loved ones who are LBGT. With a heavy heart, I expressed my own rights by boycotting the franchise.

Now, I know that my dime-and-dollar are but a drop in the bucket for that place. So, I know I don't have a snowball's chance in hell in making an effect on my own, but frankly, it seems to me that since I can't really have a debate with the guy and lay out all the reasons why marrage equality is important to me - a non-LBGT person, I figured I'd at least keep my money in my pocket. Besides, I really don't need to be eating scrumptious-fried-deliciousness, right? It's not good for you (or me) and *sigh* fast food.... Oh well.

Well, last week I caved. There are a lot of cravings I've been able to avoid, but I'd really been wanting a fried chicken sandwich and my other go-to fast food place... well, they're not in the local area. So, when I was home and my SO says he can run somewhere and we can have lunch together, my first thought is chicken. And I couldn't think of anything else. So, I gave him a halfhearted speech about having won the war, but honestly, I couldn't come up with anything better. I didn't actually expect him to come home with Chick-Fil-A.

But, not only did he, but he came home with the story about what happened when he went to pay and while part of me was gleeful about it and another part of me said "we WILL be paying this forward and soon" but there's the larger part of me that feels uncomfortable about having caved.

Because denying legal rights to one group means it can happen to any group -- it has happened before and it certainly can again and that terrifies me.

And because, really, the only time the war is truly won is when the hearts and minds are won as well.

So, what do you think? Am I wrong for beating myself up?