I love this story. It’s not exactly one you’ll see
reproduced by Disney, though. You’ll see why…
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One was very
capable; the other was a dunce. He couldn’t manage to do anything right. The
other brother did everything well—but he wouldn’t go into the churchyard at
night to ring the bell. The place was scary—it made him shudder.
The younger brother had never shuddered—he wanted to learn
how. So when his older brother was away and his father asked him to go to the
churchyard to ring the bell, he leaped at the chance. Meanwhile, the father
asked the sexton to go after him and see if he could give his son a good scare.
So the young brother went up the church tower to ring the
bell. He was alone one minute; the next he turned around and saw a silent
figure behind him, dressed all in white. The brother asked who it was; the
figure said nothing. Three times the brother asked; three times the form was
silent. So the brother took him for a ruffian and threw him down the stairs.
Turned out it was the sexton, and he’d broken his leg in the
fall.
The young brother went out in the world to find out what
fear was—and nobody could teach him. He sat down under a tree with seven hanged
men swinging from it; he winds up trying to warm them with his fire and setting
them on fire themselves (he’s not too bright), but he’s not scared.
Finally he winds up at a haunted castle. The king has
offered his kingdom and the hand of his daughter to anyone who can spend three
nights alone in the castle (I guess that’s one way to get around a bloody war
of succession). The young man jumps at the chance.
On the first night, he’s approached by cats and dogs with
blazing red eyes and sharp claws. He nails down their feet and kills
them and dumps them in the moat.
On the second night, he’s visited by a bunch of ghouls
playing ninepins with human bones. He leaps into the game and loses some money,
but isn’t scared. He sees a dead man in a coffin and once again tries to warm
him up, this time with body heat (ew). He lays down in the coffin next to the corpse,
which tries to strangle him. Understandably miffed, he shuts the coffin lid and
kicks the coffin into the moat.
On the third night, he’s visited by an evil old man who
tries to kill him. He nails the man’s beard to an anvil and beats him until the
old man offers to show him the riches of the kingdom. He leads the young man
into the dark basement, shows him some dusty old chests—and then disappears,
taking all the light. The young man has to feel his way out of a pitch-black
dungeon—which is dusty, but not scary.
At the end of the day, the King is impressed, the daughter
is impressed, and the young man wins the kingdom. But he still hasn’t learned
how to be scared, or “how to shudder” as he puts it. Finally, his new wife
dumps a barrel of fish over his head—and that’s when the young man learns how
to shudder.
The moral of the story? Never
try to warm up a corpse. They are ungrateful bastards and they just might
try to strangle you.
