Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 7 Recap

This may be my last recap for a while, as I’m going to New Zealand (today!) to run around for a few weeks. If I get a chance, I may put up a few more. Can’t guarantee it, but I’ll try. If not, I’ll just have to get my GoT fix in one long weekend catch-up marathon after I’m back. Which actually sounds pretty great. One episode at a time is never long enough.

[Warning! Spoilers below!]

We open with Ygritte picking on Jon Snow’s former privilege. She asks him rather pointed questions about whether or not the guys carrying the banners get a chance to defend themselves. “It’s a great honor to carry a house sigil,” says Jon Snow with zero sense of irony. He does have a point about the Wildlings all being doomed against the more disciplined and better-armed knights of the South—but nobody appears to be listening.

Over in Robb’s tent, Catelyn Stark gets off the understatement of the century: “Lord Walder is prickly by nature.” If you haven’t read the book yet—just you wait.

Meanwhile, Sansa is miserable—and Margaery attempts to change her paradigm. Finding her weeping about having to marry Tyrion, Margaery asks: “has he mistreated you? Has he been kind to you?” Turns out the real reason Sansa doesn’t want to marry Tyrion has much to do with his last name—but perhaps more to do with height-ism. I’m crossing my fingers that Sansa learns something from Margaery, especially when she suggests Tyrion might know more than the signature Westeros-style doggy position in bed—but I don’t think Sansa’s picking up what Margaery’s putting down here.

I love how these two women are both about the same age—and yet so, so different in terms of worldliness and capability in this very difficult world. It's only a matter of time before Sansa gets eaten by something bigger and badder (like, anyone), unless she pulls her act together.

Joffrey is a twit. Tywin looks like he wants to bite his head off and is masterfully restraining himself. He rather deftly makes it clear that he is the true power in King’s Landing—and Joffrey is left looking confused. Margaery would have known exactly what Tywin was doing.

Daenerys’ dragons are getting more powerful, and she’s not above flaunting them to intimidate the ruler of the Yunkai. Selmy and Jorah advise her that taking Yunkai is pointless—but there are slaves to be freed behind those walls.

It looks like her priorities are starting to shift. The Yunkai offer her all the ships she needs to get to Westeros—but she turns that down in favor of taking the city and freeing the slaves. A worthy effort, but I’m starting to think Daenerys will eventually realize she can’t do both.

I’m starting to miss the old clever Tyrion. In this season, Tyrion is generally getting put-upon as the royal treasurer and as the reluctant groom. Here he tries to persuade Shae she’ll have an honored place in his house even after he marries Sansa—but Shae is having none of it. I hope Tyrion pulls it together soon and starts using his formidable intellect to get on top again—figuratively, of course.

Arya is starting to get more and more alienated—even to the point of telling Beric her “one true god” is Death. If she were around today, she’d be a middle-school Goth girl. Instead she manages to escape Dondarrion’s men—and get captured by the Hound.

Meanwhile, we still don’t know who Theon’s torturer is—but everybody has a calling, and torture is clearly this guy’s. Poor Theon wakes up to find two beautiful women seducing him—and just as he starts to enjoy it, Torturer Guy shows up with a really specific-looking knife-like implement and starts going for the delicate bits. Yeesh.

Bran’s plotline is actually quite compelling in the book—but in the movie, basically all he does is sit and sleep and dream of the One-Eyed Raven. There’s not much action, despite the feud between Osha and Meera. I’m pretty sure it’ll get more interesting once they’re past the Wall, but so far these scenes are just there to remind us that Bran exists, as far as I’m concerned. Osha has a monologue about what happened to an old boyfriend—but it doesn’t tell us anything new about the White Walkers.

Then we get to Jamie, who manages to convince his captor / guards to take him back to Bolton’s for Brienne. He gets there to find Brienne stuck in a pit with a bear, facing it down with a wooden sword—in a dress, no less. Jamie jumps into the pit, weaponless, to save her. You have to love his courage—and if you’re like me, you might be surprised to find yourself forgiving and rooting for a guy who’s thrown a child off a roof. That is the sign of truly outstanding character development.

And yet I’m pretty sure Jamie would throw Bran off that roof again if he had to. I don’t think Jamie’s changed, so much as what we know about him has changed as we see him in different situations throughout the series. Which, again, is brilliant.

And with that, I’m off to New Zealand! 

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 6 Recap

Finally getting one up on time! (It’s not gonna last. Trust me.)

[Obligatory spoiler warning!]

We open up with Sam Tarly trying to keep Gilly and the baby warm. But he’s crap at building a fire. I have to admit, I’m kind of rooting for them to start snogging over this fire. I like how weird and dorky Sam is around Gilly. And I like how she sees him. Remember how she says “you’re very brave” to Sam that time he “saved” her from Jon’s direwolf? This was probably the first pretty girl Sam ever talked to who didn't immediately make him feel like crap. 

Next we see Osha and Meera bickering while aggressively ripping the skins off rabbits. Bran tells them to quit acting like it’s Season 10 of Bad Girls Club and someone stole their hot pocket. Jojen has a vision of Jon Snow, and…

…We’re north of the Wall. While they’re getting ready to climb the icy-cliff-of-death, Ygritte reveals that she knows Jon Snow’s loyalties are divided and serves up some realness about just what’ll happen to his most delicate bits if he betrays her. I love how she says the word “tongue.”

Next we’re checking in with Arya. Melisandre shows up and talks shop with Thoros before dragging poor Gendry off to no good purpose and thoroughly creeping Arya out. I think a drunk guy gave me that exact line one night in a bar in New York, face-grab and everything. The crazy ones come out with the full moon.

Meanwhile, Theon is not having a good life. There are those of you who may feel he deserves what he’s getting right now for what he did to those poor farmer’s kids. I don’t disagree with you, but that’s not what this is about. In the Game of Thrones universe, people don’t get their just desserts. Theon learns nothing from his torturer except that he’s being held prisoner by an utter psychopath and there is apparently no political or retributory reason behind his suffering. Big surprise.

Next Robb Stark is negotiating with some of the older Frey sons; Walter Frey is the lord of a strategically-placed castle who was willing to side with Robb if Robb agreed to marry one of his nine million daughters. It turns out Walter was seriously pissed when Robb went rogue and married for love. Among other concessions, the Frey boys demand that Edmure marry the daughter instead. Edmure, predictably, gets his panties in a knot about it. I could just see it in Robb’s face when Edmure goes off—“Dude, this is not about you.”

Finally we’re back with Jaime and Brienne—another pair I would love to see get together. It’s good to see Jaime is getting his spirits back—but it’s revealed that while Jaime’s position at Roose Bolton's may be a bit better there than he thought, Brienne’s is decidedly more precarious.

Next, Lady Olenna and Lord Tywin finally mix it up! I’ve been looking forward to this for the last few episodes. And they do not disappoint! “Old,” Lady Olenna sneers when Tywin offers Cersei for Loras. Tywin shoots back with a reference to Loras’ preference for boys. “A sword-swallower through and through,” Lady Olenna cheerfully admits before countering with a reference to the Lannister-on-Lannister activities Cersei is rumored to engage in.  I just about DIED at the look on Tywin’s face when Olenna asked discreetly if he never had a go at a boy in his youth. Bet no one’s ever had the nuts to ask him something like that before In.His.Life.

Speaking of Loras! How hilarious was the scene where he tells Sansa he’s dreamed of a big wedding since he was quite young? “The guests, the food, the tournaments…” he says, before waxing descriptive about the beautiful gown his bride would wear. Clearly Sansa was born without functioning gaydar.

And then the scene where Tyrion comes to tell Sansa the two of them will be getting married. In front of Shae. “This is awkward,” Tyrion says. ‘Nuff said.

Littlefinger has an absolutely badass monologue that turns out to be the seed of the whole episode—possibly the whole series. “Chaos is a ladder,” he sneers at Varys. And in this scene I started to see Varys and Littlefinger as totally diametrically opposed forces within the realm—both using the same tools of manipulation and spycraft for very different ends. Varys to shore up the realm—no matter who gets in his way—and Littlefinger to create the chaos that lets him further his own ends. Freaking brilliant.

I also am starting to understand that Varys has a deeply principled side to him. He also admired Ned Stark, another deeply principled man who would have shared many of Varys’ goals. The difference is that Varys was ruthless and / or morally flexible enough to thrive in this world, and Ned wasn’t.

We end with Jon Snow and Ygritte making it to the top after a harrowing climb up the Wall—and making out at the top. 

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 5 Recap

I was out late Sunday night—so once again, I’m getting to my Game of Thrones recap a bit late. But this is why streaming video online is so much better than watching a show when it’s scheduled to air—you can watch it whenever you want. It’s tough to imagine people used to actually have to wait for the DVD collection to come out if they missed an episode of their favorite show, way back when. Life sure was hard then.

[Warning: Tharr be spoilers below.]

But not as hard as it is for the Hound. We start off this episode with the Hound fighting for his life against Beric Dondarrion. Everyone’s against him. The crowd is chanting “KILL HIM.” When he wins—against a man with a flaming sword who can’t die—Arya Stark has to be physically restrained from doing the job herself.

I have to admit I rooted for the Hound here. Sandor Clegane has it even worse than John Snow—he’s a character who always, consistently, gets the shit end of the stick. His brother (the sadly-underutilized-in-this-series Mountain, who is a terrifically scary villain in the books) horribly disfigured him as a child and now he carries scars and a fear of fire. I agree with Nice Guys of Westeros: I secretly believe Sandor when he tells me he’s secretly the nice guy.

I teared up a little when Arya asks Beric if a man without a head could be resurrected—not six times, but just once. Her grief over her father is still very much present.

Meanwhile, John Snow’s Wildling companions don’t quite trust him—and ask him for intelligence to prove his loyalties. Ygritte asks him to prove his loyalty in a different way—by getting naked and breaking his vow of celibacy. I love how she takes charge with him. In a world where women frequently don’t have a choice about whether to have sex—and when they do take charge, it’s often to get something else they want—Ygritte’s agency in this area is refreshing. And who can blame her? John Snow was the hottest virgin in the Seven Kingdoms. (Notice I say was.)

Later we get another bath scene, with Jamie Lannister and Brienne of Tarth. (And man, did Jamie ever need a bath.) They’re now being held at Roose Bolton’s, and their circumstances are a bit better—although Jamie is still a prisoner. Brienne shows that despite everything, she still doesn’t trust Jamie—he is the Kingslayer, after all. Jamie gives her his own origin story—tells her about the Mad King’s horrible deeds and his insanity, and what drove him to kill the King. Jamie wants a truce. “You need trust for a truce,” Brienne says. “I trust you,” Jamie shoots back.

To be honest, in another writer’s hands, the situation between Jamie and Brienne would be prime breeding ground for a romance—But the thing is, just because I want those things from Martin doesn’t mean he’ll deliver. In fact, he probably knows that’s what his readers secretly want to see—because it’s the expected and satisfying outcome of that particular trope—and is deliberately refusing to give it. I feel that’s a big part of why this series is so compelling.

Scenes with Lady Olenna Redwyne are always a bright spot in this series. I love watching her spar with Tyrion—and I really get the sense of Tyrion’s reduced circumstances in life. He’s the brother of the Queen Regent, uncle of the King, and former Hand—but Lady Olenna treats him like a pesky official. Which he is, at this point.

Meanwhile Arya Stark is saddened to hear that Gendry wants to stay with Beric Dondarrion rather than go with her to fight for Robb. “I can be your family,” Arya says—the heartbreak in her voice is palpable. “You wouldn’t be my family,” Gendry replies— “You’d be my lady.”

I love how innocent Arya is about class barriers, in a world where the barriers between people of different classes are almost insurmountable. She unhesitatingly makes friends with butchers’ boys and smiths’ apprentices and bakers’ boys, and never considers herself above them—as even her sister Sansa undoubtedly would. She doesn’t even appear to see those huge class barriers—and in this scene with Gendry, he gently reminds her of them.  But Arya definitely has the ability to connect and sympathize with the common people—which would be a strength of hers if she ever is in a leadership position.

Robb Stark has to kill off the Karstark after he kills some Lannister prisoners in retaliation for his own sons’ deaths. He beheads his former ally himself, as his father would have done. His honor forces him to kill the Karstark, but it’s also a bad tactical decision—he loses one of his most significant allies, and makes his position even more precarious.

Meanwhile we get to see a little more into Stannis’ creepy family life—his wife keeps their stillborn babies in jars. His daughter, Shireen, has a skin disease that deforms her face—but Shireen is actually a sweet kid. She takes a book to the Onion Knight and even offers to teach him how to read, even though he’s in jail for having betrayed her father.

Finally, we get to Daenerys. I love that Barristan Selmy is now part of her entourage—he’s a highly experienced warrior with recent knowledge of the lay of the land in Westeros. Daenerys is another young woman with a common touch—she tells her Unsullied soldiers to choose different names. The Unsullied spokesman tells her he wants to keep his slave name—Grey Worm—because it’s the name he had when he was freed. Guy has a point.

We see Sansa and Margaery Tyrell watching Loras spar—Sansa is already half in love with him—but Loras is hooking up with the handsome squire, who turns out to be a spy for Littlefinger. Later, Littlefinger sounds Sansa out about leaving with him—but Sansa suddenly wants to stick around.

Lastly, Tyrion is horrified when his father declares he has to marry Sansa Stark—this is his solution to the Tyrells’ maneuvering to marry Sansa to Loras. Cersei is initially smug, until her father tells her she’s got to start pulling her weight for the family again—by marrying Loras.

I felt bad for Cersei, as awful as she is, when she begs her father not to make her marry again. And it just goes to show that in this world, even if you’re the highest-ranking woman in the country, women still have very little control over their own fate. Lady Olenna is in a much more enviable position of power, as all the men around her have died and she’s too old to marry off.

So that’s it for this week’s Game of Thrones recap—wrapped up with Shireen’s creepy, whispery rendition of the song her mad fool Patchface sings in the books. Not sure if Patchface will make an appearance here—but I hope so, because he adds to the creepiness of Stannis’ home life. 

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4 Recap

I spent a lovely weekend in Austin for the Old Settler’s Music Festival—and thus I’m late with my recap of Season 3, Episode 4 of Game of Thrones. But better late than never, right?

[WARNING: Tharr be spoilers below. So if you haven’t watched Season 3, Episode 4, take a step back.]

A lot happens in this episode, so this will be a bit long. 

We start off with an image of Jaime Lannister’s severed hand hanging around his own neck. Jaime has clearly lost the will to live—or even stay on his horse. He falls off into the mud, where his captors give him horse pee to drink and then give him an ass-kicking. Later, Brienne prods him to eat—to live, to take revenge. And she has a great response ready when he says he wants to die. “You have a taste,” she says, “One taste of the real world, where people have important things taken from them, and you whine and cry and quit.” Say what you will about Brienne, that woman is a real friend. She actually gets Jamie to eat.

Meanwhile, Tyrion comes to Varys looking for proof that Cersei had tried to have him killed at the Battle of King’s Landing. Varys has no proof—but he does offer up his origin story. I found myself thinking what the world would be like if we all had origin monologues like this one and launched into them apropos of nothing periodically, like in this scene. Long story short, Varys was castrated by a magician, and he now keeps that magician tied up in a crate. That’s not much help for Tyrion, though.

Up north of the Wall, Sam tries to offer Gilly some kindness. Gilly brushes it off. “I don’t want your stupid thimble,” she says, giving him back a gift he’d given her earlier. “I want to save my baby’s life. Can you do that? Can you? I don’t have time for you.” I loved this moment—she is basically demanding Sam put his actions where his words are, and actually do something to help her baby rather than offering useless platitudes.

Meanwhile, Margaery Tyrell continues to grow her influence over Joffrey. Her work with the orphanages, while building goodwill for Joffrey, also had the potential to make him feel threatened—but Margaery shrewdly shows him to the people and lets him think they adore him.

Cersei can see her hold on Joffrey slipping away—and she’s failing at gaining any influence over her father. “Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserves your confidence and your trust? Not your sons, not Jamie or Tyrion but me?” She demands. “I don’t trust you because you’re not as smart as you think you are,” Tywin shoots back, after handily recasting her problem with the Tyrells as her own inability to control her son. Like Tyrion, Cersei is handicapped from birth—her by her gender, his by his height.  

And then there’s Olenna Tyrell—Margaery’s grandmother. I love how she doesn’t give a shit. Her monologue about the insipidness of her family’s seal is just pure genius. She’s right. Roses are boring. When Varys offers her a few flirtatious pleasantries, she coquettishly asks him if he’s trying to seduce her. “Oh no, pleeease, seduce away. It's been soooo long,” she simpers. “Although I rather think it’s all for naught—what happens when the nonexistent bumps up against the decrepit? A question for the philosophers.” HA! I’ve now found my role model for who I want to become as an old lady.

Varys and Olenna proceed to entertainingly plot Sansa Stark’s future. Apparently she’s the key to the North if her brother fails—making her a very valuable pawn. Later, Margaery deftly befriends Sansa and plants the idea of marrying Loras in her head. Sansa seriously needs to get it together. Like with Sam in the last episode, I keep holding my breath and hoping she’ll start becoming a player—so far it hasn’t happened.

The Hound is being held by Beric Dondarrion for murder—Arya Stark pipes up about him killing her friend the butcher’s boy. The Merry Gentlemen decide to subject the Hound to a trial by combat—which seems like a really bad idea, considering what a badass swordsman he is (and also the fact that he looms over everyone in the cave where they’ve decided to do this for some reason).

And then we get to the scene you’ve all been waiting for. YES, Daenerys Targaryen—who’s been faking the whole time about 1). planning to actually sell one of her beloved dragon-children (come on; you didn't really think she'd do that, did you??) and 2). needing a translator. She passes off her dragon—I think the biggest one is Drogon?—to the slaveowner, then commands her new slave army to slaughter everyone in sight (except civilians) and Drogon to incinerate everyone they missed. Her voice in High Valyrian drops to a commanding roar—giving me chills. I watched this scene twice. And I couldn't help thinking Khal Drogo would be proud.

Game of Thrones Recap: Season 3, Episode 3

I have to admit it. When Game of Thrones episodes end, I feel a gray, sucking void in my heart. It  may be indigestion from the chili I’ve been eating while watching. But it’s also just the bleak feeling of knowing that I’ll have to wait another week for the next episode. So that’s why I’m blogging my viewing of this season’s Game of Thrones—to just live in that world for a little longer. And commiserate with all of you, of course.

[WARNING: Tharrr be spoilers. If you haven’t yet watched Season 3, Episode 3 of Game of Thrones, stop—go watch it—and then come back. I’ll wait.]

So this episode starts off with a funeral for Cat Stark’s father. Edmure (Cat’s brother) can’t quite seem to get the funeral boat lighted with a fiery arrow in true epic fashion. (To be honest, I would also fail at this and so would pretty much everyone I know. Except possibly my dad, who can do anything.) So the Blackfish shoves him aside and gets the job done. The Blackfish is clearly everyone’s favorite badass uncle. Later Edmure gets a reaming from Robb and said badass uncle for his tactical shortsightedness. Sigh…I love when Robb Stark gets all strategic.

Tyrion Lannister got deposed by his father as the King’s Hand in a previous episode; here, he’s assigned the job of Master of Coin. The general sense is that this is a major demotion, but coin is the lifeblood of the realm—and Tyrion now has his hand on its  jugular. I’m looking forward to seeing how he turns this to his advantage. Not sure this is what Cersei meant when she condescendingly told Tyrion he was entirely up to this task—but I think she was right.

Meanwhile, Jon Snow and his new Wildling buddies stumble upon a scale model of the Milky Way galaxy composed entirely of freeze-dried horse parts--bolstering my suspicion that the White Walkers are really just a collective of tragically misunderstood artists. I find myself wishing I had a friend so deliciously named as Hot Pie who baked me bread animals. Cat mourns her dead father and allegedly-dead sons, and Sam gets fat-shamed at Craster’s Keep. 

Not for the first time, I find myself wishing Sam would discover an amazing talent for map-reading or horse-whispering or something that makes him indispensable to the others, transforming him into a valued member of the group—because that’s a story that’s been told over and over about underdog characters. But Martin’s world isn’t that kind, and I’m not holding out much hope for that.

Melisandre takes her leave of Stannis for mysterious reasons—but not before getting in a dig that implies a lack of, um…manly prowess. (“Your fires burn low, my King.”) Ouch. On the other side of the world, I am happy to see that a minor character of color, the translator for the Unsullied’s masters, may take on a bigger role as a new member of Daenerys’ entourage. And this character gets in a great line: “There are no masters in the grave.” Chills.

Podrick loses his virginity in epic fashion to a bevy of stunningly beautiful contortionsit prostitutes—a reward for saving Tyrion’s life. The girls won’t even take payment—making us all curious about what Podrick is hiding behind his convincing veneer of slightly gape-mouthed innocence.

Theon Greyjoy gets released by a mysterious benefactor, chased down by his captors, and then rescued again—more than he deserves. If I remember correctly (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), this is a departure from what happens in the book—so I’m wondering what kind of surprises the script has in store for readers.

And finally, Jamie Lannister saves Brienne of Tarth from rape with his quick wit and smooth talking skills—and loses his hand for his troubles. Jamie’s storyline makes me marvel at the sheer mastery of a writer who can make a character who pushes small children out of high windows sympathetic over the course of a story. Pure genius.

This episode ends with an absolutely ripping rendition of “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” by Brooklyn-based band The Hold Steady. I’d stick around—but I need to find out where I can download that post-haste.

Until next week!